Don’t try hard to fit-in, when you can totally rock by fitting-out!

Perhaps, the greatest reason of why most people lead an unhappy life is, because they are totally frustrated by not achieving satisfactory success by labouring hard to fit-in. We readily choose to forget our real selves in the race of becoming like everybody else. But, every now and then, when we come across Facebook quotes “be yourself” “you’re unique” “Know thy worth” and this and that, we always tend to put like and share it wide. Here’s a list of six open suggestions, to help you stay high while you choose to not-fit-in. 

Selfie-syndrome: Squeeze, bend, raise eye brows and pout! Is that it? Is that how we must register our days and put it across our page? We surely, don’t experience our moments like that, then why must we fabricate it glossy, in order to be accepted? If everybody becomes same, then don’t you think world would become just a terribly boring place? Share your real self and encourage others to do the same.                                                                                                                                       

Fairness addiction: Don’t go get your skin bleached to achieve a fair skin tone. You are blessed with distinct features; learn how to appreciate that, instead of running about experimenting fake fairness assuring products. Be remembered for your fair approach, not your fake-fair tone.

Dress-up only for yourself: I see a lot of people trying real hard to fit-in their bodies in apparels which are “trendy and brandy” and most of the times they end-up looking awkwardly trapped. So, why not just give-up this habit which not just makes you look trapped and constipated but also doesn't give you the breathe-free comfort, which is a must to enable yourself to put 100% into your work and other matters of priority.

Pick-up the career You desire: This is way too important for any ambitious person. Making the right choice at the right time is the trick to success in both; professional and personal front. Don’t get into the career which your friends and family advice, if you don’t agree with their choice. Dare to stand-up for yourself, be bold enough to prioritise your dreams and aspirations, no matter how wild and weird they may sound to others. If you can dream it, then you can do it.

Marry, if you want to marry: No matter how digitalised India is becoming, it still holds the chronic social outlook. Haven’t you seen uncles and aunties saying with their eyebrows raised “Oh she’s become of marriageable age, I’ll help her parents find the match before it’s late” while holding their overly-loaded dinner plates at marriage or other functions? They are least interested in food, but far more interested in other people’s marriage status, no matter how many degrees these uncle and aunties have in their kitties. So, such people were, are, and will sadly always be there in our not-so-dynamic society. Make sure you don’t end-up marrying a complete stranger just due to sheer societal-pressure because you just don’t need to fit-in and earn such people’s certificate.

Why sniff weed when you adore eating fresh pulpy fruits? : You visit any high school or university, you can easily locate kids experimenting drug and liquor in secluded corners or in their car-comfort with loud music. Well, experimenting is not a bad idea, but following just for the sake of fitting-in a trending lifestyle alternative, is not so cool at all. Do whatever, but don’t get carried away. 

Live your life on Your terms, not on somebody else's. 

Let the commercial play

Yesterday, I went to watch a random Punjabi film which was up on the theatres. Though, I walked-out after the interval feeling disgusted with the overly obvious theme, so much so that, I don’t even correctly remember the film’s name, but, there is something which happened to settle itself in my mind. I am talking about one of the pre-film commercials; this one was not just surprisingly tolerable but also intriguingly beautiful.

The latest “Help a Child Reach 5” film ‘Chamki’ is a pretty compelling story about the importance of hygiene in the neonatal period. Shot by the famous feature film director Anand Gandhi, It showcases the emotional journey of a pregnant mother, Sangrahi and her aspirations for her child to blossom instead of dying at an early age like the rest of the children in her village because infant mortality rate happens to be so high that only very few are able to make it to age 5. And, this is majorly because people there don’t take hygiene and cleanliness as a serious thing; they are casual and deliberately ignorant towards the health hazards. They would pray, keep fasts and tie holy threads but wouldn't take care of basic things which could save their lives.  

So, it basically aims to raise awareness, sensitise people and encourage them to inculcate good hand washing habits. Not so surprisingly, this ad also targets people from urban community because frankly we all are pretty much the same and it’s a lengthy commercial which is shown before the film, so there must a reason behind it’s placement and given importance.

I don’t usually talk about commercials but this one is worth talking about. It showed how each year, about 6 million children die before reaching the age of 5, and sadly they die because of the infections which could have been prevented.  Out of these, about 40% of these deaths occur in the neonatal period, when children happen to most susceptible. Hygiene, particularly handwashing with soap, is one of the most cost-effective ways to prevent many of these deaths. 

The film is shot with concept which would definitely not tire your senses; it is light, easy to understand and absorb. Chamki is shown to have imaginatively come out of her mother's womb 7 years back and is shown to have grown up into a fit and joyous girl, who is grateful for every little precautionary thing that Sangrahi, her mother did to keep Chamki safe, healthy and alive. The fictional story presentation brought tears of hope and enlightenment in not just Sangrahi's eyes but also in the eyes of the audiences sitting in the theatre, who had come to watch a comic punjabi film. And, Sangrahi then aspired to become an ideal mother and do all that she must to secure a healthy future for her child-yet-to-be-born.

The change is required because we can’t afford to go on living in a state of denial. We ought now to become more realistic and less superstitious, because if the infection spreads, no god can help. So, why not be more careful and change-ready? And, just in case you haven't yet watched the commercial, here's the link- https://youtu.be/VsnP_6kdtDY

Common’, say NO!

What as per you is the most courageous thing to do? Oh, well, you might be having a whole list of such things. But, does saying “No” happen to top your list? If yes, then I empathise with you and thereby I present to you the six most crucial reasons to brave-on in your pursuit of saying the two letter word.

Words have power and you can make the required difference by using them correctly. Saying “No” is easy for some people, but for many it’s quite a challenge. But, you can help out yourself by keeping consideration the following:

For there’s a jewel called Integrity: I believe nothing is more precious and thereby worth fighting for than one’s integrity. Nothing at all will make you happy if you once lose your integrity. So, why do things which lower down your sense of self respect?

             For you mustn't end your Dream: We often end-up accepting wrong things in terms of career and then later job, just because we couldn't pick-up courage to say No. Everybody has got dreams and aspirations, but only the ones who risk everything else for it, win it. You must have come across this trending question “Would you do the things you do if it wasn't for money?” its worth giving a thought, right?

       For bullshit is not for all: Socializing is very important but that doesn't mean that you are bound to accept all the bullshit that comes your way. For example, you can say No to your dearies’ gossip, whenever you next attend a gig and rather stand alone to let yourself enjoy the pumping vibes.

      For you must have some “me-time”:  In our everyday tightly packed schedules, we hardly are able to find time for ourselves, which is why most of us suffer a sort of disconnect with our inner selves. So, perhaps you should try saying No to your urge of visiting and staying on social networking sites or on messengers, so that you could spend some quality time with yourself.

      For saying yes to everything makes you emotionally vulnerable: This is not gross; saying yes to anything and everything/ anybody and everybody does make you emotionally vulnerable. Haven’t you experienced terrible cases of disappointment, where after you took pledge to become cold? But, because you happen to appreciate and reflect humility and generosity, you end-up finding it difficult to say No. So, why not break the circle? It really isn't that challenging if only you dare!

For sometimes saying No is the best thing: We all find great pleasure in exploring the forbidden and this is something you definitely cannot deny. But, some things are better not explored as they can turn out to be injurious to our health, both physical and psychological. But, I don’t think it can humanly be possible for us to say No, if we don’t put efforts to prior research about the whole thing. And, then when once you realize why you must not let your urge take its toll, pick courage and say No.

So, I hope in times to come, you will wisely make your decisions. 

Films which will leave an everlasting smile on your face

Do you know what makes a work of art, beautiful? It’s the life in it, which happens to exist only because of the sincere imaginative efforts of the artist. I am talking in reference to the films, which are fuel-ready to transport you to a different land, where by just observing the functionality of things and people, you can find your lost self.

My list of marvellous distractions includes films from different genres. And, these I believe are best to watch in the night time when everybody else falls asleep, gifting you the opportunity for using your time and space in a much better way. So, let me now put out to you, the films from my treasure box.

The Legend of 1900- This film by Giuseppe Tornatore, manages to top my list of adored films. It’s about a boy who was found on an ocean liner in the year 1900, who is adopted and raised in the ship. He decides to never step his feet onto the ground, not because he has no legal identity or document but because he finds ocean to be boundless source of musical nourishment.  Moreover, Tim Roth perfectly executes the assigned role with charmingly raw elegance.

       De-lovely: Irwin Winkler’s De-lovely happens to be my second favourite films. It examines the magical biographical stage where composer Cole Porter reviews his life and career with his wife, Linda. It’s a must watch for the ones who find stage musicals absolutely amusing. It takes you through the life and struggle of Cole Porter who undeniably was an incredible pianist and a lyricist. The film is prettily dressed with beautiful soundtracks which will warmly melt your heart.

       Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind: Is an out-of-the-box film which tries to explore life of two people who tire-out of their relationship and decide to get each other’s memory erased from mind; to make it spotless. All of the fuzz that got created due to their obsession and the medical science experimentation, only made them realise that it was just a phase and they did truly love each other despite of all the flaws.

       Julie & Julia: If you happen to love cooking and baking, then this is one film that you would dearly love. A lot of people categories it as a food-film, but I believe it’s got lot more to offer, how important it is for women to attend the inner calling and follow their pursuit by believing in themselves, how everything teaches us and builds us, how working religiously towards your dream can beautify your mind and life. It’s very positive film where-in husbands of both Julie and Julia are shown to be very supportive and encouraging.

       

           Something’s Gotta Give:  Who doesn't like watching a romantic comedy? That too when it’s by two fine actors; Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton? It beautifully explores the desire for romance and togetherness in old age. It shows how life has so much more to offer than just wrinkles and body dysfunctional diseases.

            Truman Show:  Haven’t we all wondered sometime or the other about our lives being watched and played over? This tragic-comedy experimental film explores just that and Jim-Carry proves to be the perfect character-fit of the guy whose entire life is actually a T.V show.

           Good Will Hunting:  Gus Van Sant’s Good Will Hunting was a 1997 greatest hit and is celebrated till date for its beautiful thematic setting.  Will Hunting, a janitor at University of Massachusetts, has a blissful gift for mathematics, but to acknowledge and appreciate that he is directed to counselling by a psychologist, Sean, who helps him dig confidence and hope.  Robbie Williams and Matt Damon, together make the film richly memorable.

        Seven Pounds: Will Smith I believe is a legendary actor, I adore each of his work but I think Seven Pounds deserves much deeper respect and appreciation. It’s about a man with a fateful secret who embarks on an extraordinary journey of redemption by happily helping seven strangers who he believed deserve much more than what they had. He gifts away everything to these seven people, from his property to his heart. The film is exceptionally inspiring but make sure you have a tissue box with you.  

           The Red Balloon: Written and directed by Albert Lamorisse, French film The Red Balloon is happy watch for everyone and anyone who has a liking for silent films. The balloon is shown to have a life of its own and this is understood only by a carefree lovely boy. The film is a great reminder of how we ignore the beauty of simple things and miss-out on being our true selves.

-        The Colour Purple: Steven Spielberg’s film The Color Purple is a 1985 classic. It is a daring adaptation of Alice Walker’s book The Color Purple. It features life of a girl who right from her childhood swallows sexual abuse and vents it out while scribbling letters to God. The film tries to do justice to Alice’s work by casting exceptionally talented actors and actresses. It’s a film about struggle, courage and empowerment which surely would motivate you to only settle for good.

7 Reasons to let your lips do the talking more often

A kiss I believe is a sublime affair; it’s about tasting and feeling one another’s cosmos. It’s about comprehending each other’s emotional current without uttering words, for the words would only sound vague when emotions are intense. A kiss alone can speak volumes! But, do you know of the health benefits it can cause to you? 

Here’s a list of 7 reasons for you to kiss more often:

It upsurges happiness and offers stress relief: Have you ever felt gloomy right after a kiss? Perhaps, not, because kissing not just naturally relaxes us but also acts as an instant pick-me-up. An affectionate kiss is a way of expressing hope and possibility of a brighter and warmer future. And, when somebody is assuring you a hopeful future then would it not make you feel joyous? It certainly would.

Helps reduce pain: Not just romantically, because this is backed by science; throughout the heated kissing session, your body releases adrenaline which is believed to reduce the feeling of pain. Now, isn't that just wonderful? To test it for your surety, try pairing locking lips with physical intimacy when you have a terribly ache anywhere in the body and see for yourself whether it works wonders or it doesn't.

Also burns calories: Though, kissing may not burn as many calories as working-out in gym does but it surely pumps up your metabolism to about twice than its usual rate. Every living thing emits energy, which is why when your bodies get heated-up, you can also appreciate the whole thing for if nothing else then for burning calories.

Its warmth can spur arousal:  A sensual kiss is like a signal, that both the bodies are ready to explore each other further, thereby setting the stage for intensified sexual pleasure and for a more nourishing erotic experience. So, go ahead follow your gut feeling.

It helps bind back the relationship:  The more love and affection we pour into our partner’s mouth while kissing them, the closer we tend to come. An, this devotional assertion helps bind back the love gone astray. Lips are filled with sensory nerves that send a huge amount of biological information to our brains, prompting it produce oxytocin. Now, this hormone is most commonly known as the “love hormone” because it catalyses intimacy, trust, and builds healthy relationships.

It’s an activity full of fun and frolic:  Kissing is a great way to voice your inner current and keep things fresh. Life is unpredictable and short, so it shall be better if you cherish every moment wherein you are blissfully wrapped close in your partner’s cuddle. Take time, explore and experiment. Doing it this way, would help fuse fun and joy in your monotonous everyday life schedule.

Makes each other feel respected and wanted: We all wish to hear our partner assert our relevance in their lives. Kissing is a passionate gesture to express that you remember each detail and still think of it. We all can achieve whatever we want to if only we feel boosted with power and love.

So, go and let your lips do the talking!

Come, let’s talk about suicide!

In this time & space, where we are not ashamed to accept that we make friends for benefits, where we practice sycophancy to save our jobs, where we choose to stay mute over things and people who need their urgencies to be heard, where finding a mall buildings is much easier than locating a park full of trees, that where is here! And, here suicidal rates are ever increasing, because our patience level are soaring too fast, our hearts are swelling with hopelessness at the tender age, our salaries are earned in tightly packed competitive environment and our families are going emotionally broke. And, this here is where we must dare to talk about suicide and how religion and desperation to escape this rattrap complicates the decision making.

But, first we must understand what suicide really is; it certainly is never a pointless or a random act. It takes a lot of courage to choke-away one’s life. And, the ones who do it are mainly the ones who have lost hope of finding solution to their problems; it’s sort of a way out from some or the other kind of unbearable dilemma. It is a choice that somehow seems to be the only potential solution. There are many factors which together make suicide pop-up as an auto-suggestion to your conscience;

Family history- Action and behaviour of the people close to us always has a certain amount of impact on us. And, a grave decision like that of a suicide taken by a family member would always manage to stay in our head and make us think whether or not it was the right decision to take. Whenever a similar circumstance in our life occurs, suicide unfortunately tends to pop-up as an auto suggestion.

Crashing hopes- No matter how much we tell ourselves to stop expecting from people, we still do imaginatively weave cob webs of expectations and end-up getting tangled in them. When reality fails to meet our rosy expectations, our hopes come crashing down. At times the damage is so severe that exiting seems to be the only sensible option.

Career pressure- A huge number of suicidal cases exist because those huge number of people submitted to their career pressure, fused upon them by their family and so-called-friends. What is important is to understand that a 90.9% or A-grade college degree or a job in big corporate is not the end of life. What truly matters is your happiness and intelligence in no way guarantees happiness. Though, it does teach you variety of important things but that is not it. That does not mean you sacrifice everything else to get that one thing with which you could boast-off in nerd circles.

Suicide is considered sinful, by not one or two but by almost every existing religion. For example, Jews are frowned upon by suicides and thus they bury the dead body in a separate part of a Jewish cemetery, and may not receive certain mourning rites.  Conferring to the theology of the Roman Catholic Church, suicide is objectively a sin which does violate the commandment "Thou shalt not kill”.  Islam just like other Abrahamic religions, considers suicide as one of the greatest sins and utterly disadvantageous to one's spiritual journey. And, if you talk about Hinduism, they view suicide as spiritually unacceptable. Committing suicide is thus considered a violation of the code of ahimsa (non-violence) and therefore equals in terms of sin just as murdering another.

Though, no explanation can ever justify the self-destructive behaviour, yet people haves tried to understand the psyche behind the bold selfish decision. It is considered a cowardly act by most people, perhaps it is that way, yet who knows? We all have dreams and aspirations, skills and imperfections, but whatever the situation might be, we must never let our inner beauty be destroyed by thorns led outside. And, anyway “You cannot find peace by avoiding life”.

Tame Your Anger, Before It Tames You!

Managing anger is very important. Because, it rips apart your hard earned peace and patience. In this ever dynamic world, the pressure of surviving by beating out everybody else is only going to increase. Anger, can do you both; good and bad, it depends on how you handle your boiling current. You can do constructively well if you channelize your anger and make it your motivation to fuel-back your lost spirit and take-up the dropping challenge or you can let it cause destruction both physical and mental to yourself and the ones around.

Here’s a list of 8 things you could do when you just can’t handle your fury-

1-Walk-Out: A lot of people think that walking-out is simply a disrespectful gesture, but I believe blabbering senselessly and loudly is even worst. So, I suggest, instead of over-reacting you should walk-out and curl down in a space where you can freely breathe, think objectively and take decision accordingly. Walking-out brings you the time and space to retrospect and see things from a unbiased perspective.

2-Indulge yourself: Occupy your physical-self with work of whatever kind you like and your mind would follow.

 Take your dog for a walk- dogs are joyous bundles, they know how to make your real-self bounce back.

        Cook or Bake- Food can do wonders and dressing it can bring alive the creativity in you.

Go lyrical and sing a song- Who doesn't like singing and when you’re alone in your space with nobody around to judge you then you can sing out loud and drain-out the frustration from your head.

Wash dishes- It might sound to you crazy but washing dishes is like mending things and when you clean and beautify things you feel hopeful and of course that anger in your and uncontrollable hand make just the right mix to scrub off the stubborn dirt and stickiness.

3-Create: A lot of people go mad during their panic attacks but there are a few how wisely channelize their anger and focus on creating things rather than letting the anger go loose. For example; artists pour their rage into art-work, music track, athletes fuel their spirit and focus on winning matches and marathons. So, it depends on you, how you use anger to beautify and create something bigger and better which could later speak for you and justify your earnestness.  

4-Put the headphones on: Music is perhaps the quickest way to transport you to a calmer land. Music has therapeutic benefits; it awakens you to galaxy full of possibilities. By simply increasing the volume you can mute the world around and treat your senses. So, let the music play!

5-Do a dance: Dancing is always a fun thing to do, no matter the situation (until you’re in a funeral, where you have to act serious) it engages every inch of your body and leaves you empowered with joy and energy.

6-Pick a book and sniff though: Getting hold of the story line takes time but if you carry-on curiously then it can help you transcend from your current mess. It will open imaginative doors to a different world which will definitely prove to be a fruitful experience for you.

 7-Do a little gardening: Plants always give a lively feeling by emitting variety of fresh fragrances which will help you distract yourself from the thing that triggered your anger and would cool you down.

8- Drink healthy fluid: Water and fruit juices help keep the body hydrated. And, it’s a done and tested method to cool down your anger. It just keeps it all better.

These are workable medicines which will do you absolutely no harm!